Getting Closer...My thoughts.

Well, here we are...6 days from now we will be sending Lia to the OR for her third open heart surgery. This has haunted my thoughts for years now. I've imagined almost every scenario...the best and the worst my mind was capable of creating. The mind is an amazing thing...where it can take you. The unknown can make a person crazy. 

I honestly feel like with every delay of this surgery has come a greater preparedness. We thought Lia would have her Fontan the summer she turned 3. They tweaked a few things in the Cath lab that cranked her oxygen saturations from mid-70's to mid-80's. When they were able to pull that off, they decided there was no need to do the surgery that year. Ok...sounds good. We were surprised, but thankful to put it off. The next summer, the summer she turned 4...same story. Her sats were still mid-80's, she was growing, she was healthy, so they put it off. Again...we were glad. The difference this summer?  She's starting Kindergarten. She's only getting older and more aware everyday. At this point...no longer any need to put it off. So we had our heads right...or did we....with May 6th, 2013. Then the next delay came. This delay hit me harder than the others. The whole "preventative antibiotics debacle". Wait 4 weeks. We can't prove she's well.  Ughhhhhhh.......ok. We trust their judgement, and wait is what we did. Two days later, Lia had a cold. On May 6th, 2013, she ended up with a full blown cold. So there ya go. 

I can't explain what has happened in my mind the last 4 weeks. I've managed to reframe the way I have been thinking about this surgery. It's nothing I was able to do for myself, it just happened. After Lia ended up with the cold on the day she would have had surgery, I've been filled with peace. Nothing more, nothing less...just peace. I'm not afraid. I KNOW without a doubt, that our God is actively involved. He is protecting her. He is in charge. He is sovereign. And no matter how things go for Lia...He knows about it before it happens. 

Now, am I excited about my precious, beautiful, four year old little girl having open heart surgery?  Of course not. Am I still dreading it, and imagining my way through all the different scenarios? Yep...still doing all that. But this time, I'm reframing those thoughts with  "His will...His way...He knows things I don't...He loves her more than even I do...He created her just the way she is."  And that helps. Then the peace returns.  

Lia felt the need to "get out of the sun"...while staying on the float. 

We had some fun today swimming with The Moore girls. It was just what we needed. 

Loving friends?  Support?....We are blessed beyond belief with both of those. Check this out:

Last night after Colby's game, Coach Rob and the team presented Lia with a signed game ball to show how much they all love Colby's little sister. Then they bowed their precious little heads, and prayed for Lia. Because they love her. Because they love Colby. It was really something.