40. Let's say it again... 40. How is this even possible? I was just in the seventh grade...thinking my whole world was ending because I didn't make cheerleader. I was just walking to Alsup's with my friends, waiting on the IPJH Hawks to play football. I was just busy planning which friends I was spending the night with and where. Didn't all of that "just" happen? Like yesterday..."just" happened?
The truth is, I don't feel a day older than that now. Oh, my metabolism tells me everyday that I'm not that age anymore...and when I look at my face, I see lines that weren't always there. But I feel the same. Call it good, call it denial, I don't know...it's just the truth.
I don't think I'm the "grow old gracefully" type of girl. Honestly, I'm not really that graceful at anything now that I think about it. When I got up this morning, I decided to show 40 who's boss and go for a run. My over the top, out of control, competitiveness was in full swing. I pretty much ran a little over 5 miles cold turkey. I may or may not have walked a little...ok I walked a little of it. But I wanted to prove to 40 that I am still young. So there. Take that, 40. I win.
While I was running this morning, I thought a lot about the last 40 years...or at least the years I can remember. Wow...I have a really good life. It isn't perfect, but it's mine. And there isn't much I would change about it.
I grew up in the greatest family on the face of the earth. I mean that. Thanks to the greatness of VHS tapes, we get to revisit "Christmas 89" anytime we want to. People...it's a must see. Really. Just ask Lori and Laci. And Dusty...(he hates it).
Corey. For 17 years, he's been the strong, steady, unwavering presence in my life. He's always steadfast and sure, always the optimist, and always believes in the best of everyone.
I'm watching my Colby turn into a teenager right before my very eyes. It's unbelievable. He's so tall, and big...like a real grownup kid. It simultaneously breaks my heart and makes me so proud at the same time. He's amazing, with Corey's calm self assurance and my competitiveness...always pushing himself to be better.
Jace. This kid... He's so quick and witty, always making people around him laugh. He's a natural at most things, and if he has to work too terribly hard, he's usually out. (We're working on that)... Jace is never not swinging a baseball bat. Never. He's swinging a plastic bat in his room, a wooden bat in the living room while watching the triple A Texas Rangers (yes, we still watch every game) or his million dollar game bat in the front yard. He loves baseball. And I love him. He literally makes my heart full for a million different reasons.
My Lia. My hero. My heart. She's stubborn, strong willed, and confident. She's courageous and tough as nails. And she's almost 6 years old. How's that for crazy? For real, where does time go? Where?!? I need it to slow down, not for my own age's sake...but because I don't want these loves of my life getting any older.
This life of mine is moving forward at record speed... I guess that's how life is. It's crazy, and busy. It's disorganized and messy. It's sometimes incredibly hard, but it's mostly incredibly joy filled. It's full of my family and raising amazing kids with our "village of friends". It's working side by side with my Baylor family in a job that's challenging and fulfilling. It's going to church with people we've known for years and have cried both tears of pain and joy right along side of us. It's watching the boys learn work ethic and teamwork on the sports field with some of the greatest people we know and their boys. It's watching our Lia dance in her very first ever dance recital...and rock it.
Yes, it's true. I'm 40 years old. I guess I'm a grownup now or whatever. I also guess I won't grow old gracefully...I'll be fighting it with all the strength I have. But a wise friend told me lately... "Aging is a privilege denied to many". Those are strong words to live by.
So I'll accept turning 40. And every single blessing that comes with it.